Thing #3 you never want to hear your 3-year-old say: “Mom, I accidentally put my foot in the potty.”
One guess where she gets it
My wife was out with the kids the other day, when the topic of birthdays came up. I think after the Color Princess had said something about being 6 years old, a clerk continued the conversation by asking if she knew how many birthdays she had had. The CP thought for a second, and then responded, “Seven.”
My wife interjected, “No, if you’re 6 years old, you’ve only had 6 birthdays, not 7.”
To which my smartass of a daughter quickly replied, “Not-UH, Mommy. Because I had a birthday THE DAY I WAS BORN.”
Yep, she’s a chip off of the ol’ block.
I came home to some “exciting” news yesterday from The Color Princess. Her one remaining top front tooth, which has been wiggling in her gums for a couple weeks now, finally came loose (with a little help from Dee). Now, she has an adorable toothless smile and an even cuter pronounced lisp.
The girls have been given “tooth pillows” they can put their lost teeth in and hang on their bedroom door for the Tooth Fairy (note to parents - this is definitely the way to go - no sneaking into their room after they’re asleep!) but unfortunately, the CP’s tooth pillow is currently lost in the mess of her room, so I improvised with another little purse-like bag last night, tucking the tooth inside and hanging it on the CP’s doorknob as we put her to bed. I figured after she was definitely asleep for the night I’d pull the ol’ switcheroo and she’d wake up to a nice crisp dollar bill tucked into the purse instead of her tooth.
Well, this here Tooth Fairy would probably flunk a mid-year performance evaluation. I goofed big time; by the time I went to bed, it had totally slipped my mind to swap out the chopper for cash, and the poor girl woke up all excited, only to find that, in spite of all promises to the contrary, the Tooth Fairy had NOT come overnight. It was a teary, heart-wrenching sight, let me tell you.
As Dee consoled her on the couch, I slipped into the CP’s room and hid the dollar under her real pillow. We then asked her whether she had looked under her pillow on her bed, as sometimes “the Tooth Fairy leaves money under your pillow if she can’t find the tooth pillow”. When she pulled out the dollar bill, she still had tears in her eyes but was beaming ear-to-ear. Crisis averted, and my 6-year-old is probably happily showing off her giant gap-toothed smile to all of her teachers and friends at school today.
Now, I just have to figure out to do with this incisor that the negligent Tooth Fairy forgot to take with her last night…
Thing #2 that you don’t want to hear from your 3 yr old: Mommy, the soap at school doesn’t taste good.
-My wife’s current FB status.
About this time tomorrow, I’ll be the 2nd one from the right, halfway up the beach. That’s right, my wife and I are going to show how much we empathize with those poor souls in the midwest who have been snowbound by Mother Nature by doing our part to get away from it and go somewhere warm - Siesta Key, Florida.
My grandparents are down there for the winter, and invited us to come stay with them. A couple of free airline tickets later (courtesy of my frequent-flier miles) and we’re scrambling to pack and hoping the plane (leaving Cincinatti in the early AM) doesn’t get delayed and cause chain-reactions for our flight down to Florida.
The best part though? My parents have altruistically volunteered to come stay at our house and watch the tater tots so we get a nice little vacation sans kids. As much as I love my kids, there’s nothing like being able to come & go as you please on a beach vacation, without having to worry about feeding the munchkins lunch, or showering off the caked sand from their cute little heinies after a long day of making sand castles. We’ll be planning a family vacation for later this year, but this is a fantastic little treat in the dead of winter for my wife and I.
See you guys next Tuesday, and I’ll make sure to have a drink for each and every one of you guys while I’m gone! (Ok, that may be a little bit of an exaggeration, but I’ll definitely raise a glass and make a toast to each one of you guys!)
Out of the mouths of babes...
- The Color Princess: Daddy, The Bean was the first to get up this morning.
- Me: Yeah, I heard, she got up early.
- CP: Yeah, and then Mommy got up, and then I got up!
- Me: Yep, that's right!
- CP: And Daddy you were last to wake up.
- Me: Yes, that's true.
- CP: Daddy, why are you always the last to wake up?
- Me: Daddy just has a hard time waking up.
- CP: Oh, because you are so tired?
- Me: Yeah, I stay up too late and have a hard time waking up.
- CP: Daddy, I think you should go to bed earlier. Like at 8:00 like me.
Absolutely NO OFFENSE to those folks out there that don’t have children, but it truly IS like having a second job. I know a couple of my friends have implied in the past that kids shouldn’t take up so much of your time - I’d like those folks to read the article here so you know where those of us who have the little devils are coming from.
And to all those single parents and/or working couples who effectively have 2-4 jobs and no respite: I am in complete awe of you and don’t know how you do it. I’m wishing that YOU will win the lottery so you can ease up and spend more time doing what you love with the people you love.